


Jealous

by HinaSaku



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Relationships, Inner Dialogue, Jealousy, M/M, Multiple Voices, Romance, Unrequited Love, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2018-09-14 15:01:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9187343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HinaSaku/pseuds/HinaSaku
Summary: Ron doesn't want to be, but sometimes he just is. Whenever jealousy strikes, his personality turns ugly. He doesn't want to hurt anyone, but he does anyway.  Inspired by Nick Jonas's "Jealous" song.





	1. Chapter 1

"Why are you being like this?" Herminone questioned Ron in the common room. "You know Harry didn't put his name in that goblet. If he did…"

"Did I say he did? "

"Well you were implying…no you are implying he did it!" Herminone snapped at the ginger. She sighed and shook her head. "Listen, Ron. Why did he do it then since you believe he did?"

"I don't need this." Ron got up, furious at her for sticking up for Harry.

"Ron, wait!" The brunette tried going after her friend only for him to leave the common room, ignoring his friend's pleas for him to come back. He needed some air as well as some time to be alone.

He didn't believe Harry did it himself, but was merely upset because he was going to be in the spotlight again. Yeah, Harry didn't like having all the attention like some people did, but he was in it almost all the time and it always resulted in the same thing…girls being all over him and that ticked him off. Girls were always fawning over Harry just because he was "the chosen one", the star player, and so many other things. He hated to admit it, even to himself…but he was jealous. Not of Harry, as one would assume, but his female fans. Yes, them…they could just walk up to Harry and confess their attraction, send him love letters, or even…kiss him.

Ron blushed at that last part. Had Harry even had his first kiss yet? He doubted it, unless Harry had been keeping that from him. Truth be told, he was in love with Harry. He didn't want to admit it, but yes he liked him more than he should. There were times where he wanted to confess, but his nerves got the best of him. Besides, confessing might mean getting an answer and/or response that he didn't want. It was inexcusable, yes, but that jealous side still remained, fighting against the side that wanted him to make up with Harry and accept the way things were.

'I know Harry didn't do it…he would have been affected if he did. I mean Fred and George…'

'He did do it!' the hostile voice said angrily. 'He obviously convinced one of his little fangirls to do it for him. The damn bastard enjoys the attention.'

'No he doesn't!' the smaller part of him tried to protest.

'Oh yes he does! He loves any kind of attention he can get his "chosen boy" hands on. He doesn't get any at home, so he wants some all over the place. That's why mom pays more attention to him than us…her own son.'

'NO. STOP, THAT…THAT…THAT'S NOT…!'

'Yes it is…Harry doesn't care for us. He can just risk our lives and not give a bit of credit to us...something he NEVER does!'

'B-but…'

'Admit it. Did he ever give us any real credit to anyone that risked their lives for him?! We risked our neck for him time and time again and has he ever risked his life for us? NO. He risked his neck for Ginny, but not us! Mom and dad just had to have another baby, didn't they? Ginny has crush on Harry too, doesn't she?'

'Y-yes, but…' the tiny voice tried sticking up for Ginny, but couldn't as the voice, which was incredibly louder than ever, boomed at it.

'ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO LET THAT PIECE OF TRASH INTERFERE WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HARRY!?' It asked angrily.

'H-harry doesn't even like her that way!' the small voice whimpered. 'B-besides, we're not dating Harry.'

'Yet!' it corrected him.

'We can't force him to…'

'We will if we have to. We're better than those other girls…no…any girl. That includes that smart bitch too. We know Harry like the back of our hand! Herminone's not all that fun to be around alone, now is she? You can't joke around with her. All she wants is to study and be such a smarty pants. What's so special about her anyway? Just because she makes perfect grades all the time doesn't mean she'll get a man. Even that idiot Neville wouldn't date her and he's the biggest dork we know!'

'Neville's not a dork and Herminone works pretty hard to get those grades.' The little voice piped up.

'Hard my ass. She doesn't struggle at all.'

'But last year, she…'

'She was taking too many classes at once, because she thinks she's better and can handle it because our tiny brain can't handle it.'

'She never…'

'She implied and it and you can't deny it.' the angry voice growled.

Ron tried shaking away the voice, getting tired of hearing it. He didn't want to think those things, but the voice wouldn't go away, screaming at him to listen and telling him what he would like to believe they were lies and not what he really thought. This was the more evil side of Ron that he hoped no one would ever see. Ron noticed how late it was and decided to head on back, making a mental note to avoid talking with anyone if he could help it. Hopefully he could control this jealous, angry inner self by tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

Ron spent most of his time alone ever since Harry and he had gotten into their fight. He hated not being near his best friend and crush, but knew his inner self wouldn't give him any kind of peace. He started hanging out with the last person his inner self wanted to talk to but only tolerated him because Neville had almost nothing to be jealous of…well except for a few things like being an only child. Both didn't have much in common, but they could talk about a few things. The brunette was surprisingly good at wizard chest, so the two would play for a few hours while talking.

"Can I ask you a question, Ron?" asked Neville.

"Hmm…huh? Oh yeah…sure." said Ron as he looked for where to move his piece. 'Maybe I could move it there and then…'

"Why aren't you helping out Harry?"

"Oh he's fine." said Ron. "Herminone's helping him. If she's so smart, she should be able to help."

"Oh yeah…" Neville thought for a moment. "…but you two haven't been hanging out together for some time now. Did you guys get into a fight?"

"You could say that…any who, it's all in the past now." Ron explained. "We're not friends anymore."

Neville couldn't believe it despite it coming out of Ron's mouth. Ron and Harry had been friends since year 1 and were always together since then. Whatever had happened between them had to be pretty bad for them to not be friends anymore. "What was the fight about if you don't mind telling me."

"He's a bloody attention whore, that's what he is!" Ron said bluntly . "He's obviously enjoying all this attention. I wouldn't doubt it if he actually got someone to put his name in the goblet of fire just for the attention."

"Are you sure? He didn't seem like he likes the attention."

"That's what he wants everyone to think." The ginger said rolling his eyes. "You don't know him like I do."

 _'What are you saying?!'_   piped up the smaller voice in his head. _'Harry doesn't enjoy that! He hates it!'_

' ** _Says you!_** ' roared the angry voice.

"Well I guess you do." said Neville. "Are you going to watch him in the competition?"

"Doubt it." said Ron. "He has Hermione and all his fans there."

"I don't know about that. I think a lot of people want Cedric Diggory to win. I haven't seen many people support Harry that aren't in our house and even some of them are supporting Cedric." informed Neville moving his piece.

"Good. Cedric deserves it. He's a nice guy." said Ron.

"Well Harry's…" A glare from Ron made him shut up fast. Maybe he should stop talking about Harry let alone mentioning him since it seemed to be annoying Ron at the moment. "Um…n-never mind."

The two started playing again though this time in silence until it was time for bed. Ron went hesitantly to the bedroom, but laid down avoiding Harry's eyes. The next morning brought nothing but anger at the newspaper article printed about Harry and Herminone. Apparently Harry cried about his parents a lot (Ron knew that wasn't true) and Herminone was Harry's girlfriend. As usual, the angry voice spoke up about that part when news of this reached his ears.

 ** _'His girlfriend?!'_** spat the voice. **_'Since when?!'_**

' _Since never! Herminone and Harry can't be dating…can they?'_ the smaller voice said not sounding quite so sure.

 ** _'No…of course not. Look at her! Who would think that looks good?'_** snapped the angry voice. **_"Even if they are dating, why? She's boring as hell and nags too damn much! She's not even pretty!'_**

 _"M-maybe the woman's lying? After all, she did lie about Harry crying at night about his parents.'_ said the smaller voice. _'Well we've got detention from Snape tonight. Maybe we could…'_

**_'NO! I would rather give Malfoy a blowjob than talk to him right now!'_ **

_'You don't have to be so crude!'_ Ron thought as the same time as the tiny voice said.

* * *

While serving detention for Snape, Ron didn't bother speaking to Harry at all, despite wanting to very badly. The two worked for hours until they were done and left without a word or glance towards each other. Ron went straight up to his room, thinking about the Triwizard Tournament competition. Harry was expected to compete next week and it scared him. People died during those things and what if Harry…Ron shivered at the thought and felt sick in the stomach. That's it! He had to tell Harry was sorry and confess.

'I just have to tell him how I feel. I have to.' he thought to himself as he lay awake in bed. 'I have to before Tuesday because…I might not ever see him again.'

 ** _'Good riddance if he does die if he rejects us!'_** said the angry voice.

_'You don't mean that!' said the smaller voice._

**_'We'll see after we tell him.'_** the voice said stubbornly. **_'If he really is dating that ugly bitch…'_**

Ron ignored whatever else the voice said and jumped up out of bed and made his way to Harry's bed. "Harry?"

He pulled back he curtains and frowned when he saw Harry's empty bed. Where was he? He was right behind him when he had come from Potions. He couldn't be roaming around the school still could he? He doubted it though, although the angry voice in the back of his head was shouting about him visiting his "fangirls".

'Harry's probably too nervous to worry about some dumb girl anyway.' Ron spoke up for him.

**_'Yeah, keep believing telling yourself that.'_ **

'Maybe he's in the common room talking with Herminone.'

**_'I hope not…'_ **

He went downstairs only to hear voices and one that sounded like Harry's. He took a deep breath and went down stairs. Once he was downstairs, he saw Harry sitting close to the fire (it wasn't cold so why was he so close to it) and was looking at him. Ron was confused. "Were you talking to someone?"

"What's that got to do with you?" He asked bitterly. "What are you doing down here at this time of night?"

"I was just wondering where you were." Even though Ron felt like kicking Harry's ass, he was persistent to doing what he had planned when he had headed downstairs.

"Just thought you'd come nosing around, did you?" Harry snapped.

 ** _'Cheeky stuck up asshole! How dare you talk that way to me after I show just a bit of concern and was even going to show you some affection!? You know what? FUCK HIM! Let him get ready for his interview in the morning, the piece of shit…'_** His inner voice shouted and Ron completely with it.

"Well I'm sorry about that. I shouldn't have realized you didn't want to be disturbed. I'll leave you to be practicing for your next interview."

Harry grabbed one of the badges on the table that read _POTTER REALLY STINKS_ off of a table and hit Ron on the forehead. "There you go. Something for you to wear tomorrow. You might even have a scar now if you're lucky…that's what you want isn't it?"

Ron merely clenched his fists as Harry walked right past him. A small voice told him to speak up, stop him, or do anything but let Harry walk away from him mad. 'Do something! Please, don't let him get away! You have to stop him and tell him! What's the matter with you?!'

'Let him go!' his inner self shouted. 'The fucking asshole really is a stuck up piece of shit!'

Ron sat down in one of the big arm chairs in the room in front of the fire, thinking. 'That could have gone way better…'

**_'…if he wasn't such a dick!'_ **

_'Oh shut up, you! He obviously only snapped because he's already got so much on his plate and…'_

'He didn't have to act like a jerk.' Ron thought sighing. Now Harry was even madder at him before. 'I don't blame him though. I was a bit of a dick to him. I should have really tried to tell him anyway. Now he'll never know.'

* * *

All too quickly, the day of the Tournament came making Ron more nervous than ever. He wished he was by Harry's side, reassuring him, and making jokes…doing anything to make his crush feel better about what was coming before him, but obviously Harry didn't want him around. Ron decided that he didn't want to be there to see Harry get hurt or maimed or anything but being okay!

"Hey Ron, aren't you coming?" Dean asked Ron as he and Seamus were heading towards the door.

"No…I'm not feeling too good." Ron said from underneath the covers as he clutched his stomach. It was the truth. He was feeling a little sick.

"That's too bad mate." Seamus shrugged. "We'll be sure to give you a play-by-play when we come back."

Once they had left, Ron lay back in his bed with his eyes closing trying to get back to sleep. The previous night, he had nightmares about Harry getting killed in various situations, all of which caused him to wake up sweating and breathing really hard. It was only when Neville (who had only gotten up to go use the bathroom and heard him) had asked what was wrong was when Ron decided that staying up was the best choice instead of sleeping. However, he couldn't sleep and ended up staring out the window, thinking about Harry.

"Oh you're still here." It was Neville.

"Aren't you going to go watch the tournament?"

"Yeah, but I was wondering if you wanted to come too."

"Not really."

"Are you sure? I heard they've got dragons down there." said Neville.

"Dragons?" Ron frowned. That probably meant Charlie was there and would inform his mother of what Harry had to face. He could imagine what she was saying now. ' _Oh why on earth would they let him face something like that? Oh poor Harry!_ Why doesn't she just make us take some polyjuice and live out each other's lives? She obviously loves him more than me!'

"Yeah. Doesn't your brother work with dragons? Maybe he's here too."

"Probably…but I'm still not going!" Ron said rather stubbornly. "I'm already not feeling too good. Just tell me about it when you come back, eh?"

Neville seemed rather disappointed with not having anyone to go with, but went on his way. He'd just sit with Herminone. As he looked back at Ron, he felt a little bad for him. His best friend (well former best friend) had all the attention while he was in the background now. It had to be rough on the ginger and he knew all too well how that felt. His grandmother constantly praised his mother and father and questioned Neville of his abilities as their son. Ron's life had to like that. From what Ron had told him, all his brothers had done something great and his sister was the daughter his mother always wanted. Ron was good at telling jokes, being funny, was great at wizard chest, and being a good friend, but it was ignored by others as long as Harry was around like Neville's talent with plants was overshadowed by all the great things Neville's parents had done.

"Neville…"

Neville blinked, having been caught off guard. He had not realized that Ron was now looking at him. "Y-yeah?"

"Go on. I'll be fine." Ron smiled a little.

"Are you sure? Dean and Seamus could…"

"No, go on Neville. Don't let me spoil your fun. Just go before it starts." Neville nodded and took off.

* * *

After about an hour, Ron was pacing across the room rubbing his hands. Why was this thing taking so long!? Was Harry okay? What type of dragon did he have? Did he hurt himself? After another hour, he was looking out the window once more until he heard the door open. It was his roommates.

"Ron, come on downstairs! They're throwing a party for Harry!" said Dean.

"He made it out?" Ron said shocked although he knew he shouldn't be.

"Yeah! We'll tell you more about it downstairs." Seamus said before he and Dean left.

'He made it…he actually did it!' He breathed in relief.

Once downstairs, Dean, Seamus, and Neville all told him about what Harry had done as well as the other competitors. Ron was impressed and thankful that Harry had thought of using a summoning curse to get his broom so he could pass his dragon. He managed to enjoy himself at the party while talking to Neville while the others went off elsewhere.

"It was really scary." confessed Neville. "I thought the dragons would attack us."

"I wish I could have been there." said Ron sighing. "I'm most definitely not going to miss the next part."

* * *

After the party was over, Ron went straight up to bed, glad that Harry was safe and sound. He had thought of apologizing during the party, but every time he looked at Harry, he was surrounded by girls asking if he had hurt himself, how he felt during the whole thing, and other things too. If only he was a girl. If he was, he'd run right on up to him and plant a kiss on his lips and fret over him like he had seen so many other couples do, but he couldn't. He wasn't that type of person nor was he a girl.

The next day, Ron was still trying to decide over whether or not he wanted to speak to Harry and if he was, what was he going to say, when suddenly Herminone walked into the common room. "Ron!"

"Oh hey, Herminone." Ron said closing a book he was pretending to read.

"Don't hey me. Why aren't you speaking to Harry?"

"Are you still on about that?"

"Yes! What is it going to take for us to make you believe him?"

"I don't believe he did it, Herminone!"

"Then why are you…"

"I don't have to explain myself to you!" Ron snapped at her.

"You're being ridiculous right now, Ron!" Herminone sighed shaking her head. "Come on. He really misses you and I miss us hanging out together. Why can't you just admit your jealous?"

"Jealous? You think I'm jealous of him? Why would I be?"

"I know it's hard having a friend who gets a lot of attention, is a great Qudditch player, defeated…"

"Shut up, Herminone!" The ginger stood up, looking angry. "I know, Harry's so damn great. You don't think I ever get tired of hearing that from his fucking fans and my damn mother every damn day!? I have enough to deal with at home with my own fucking family!"

"I know, Ron, but Harry can't help that he…"

"He enjoys the damn attention. I just know he does, especially from people like mom. She always goes on and on about stupid Harry. _How is Harry, Ron? Is he eating good? Poor thing. I'd take him in if I could._ _Tell him if he needs anything, to just write._ She may as well come out and fucking say that she doesn't want me as her damn son anymore and take in that bastard instead. I've never done anything useful or great anyhow…especially to him..."

Herminone opened her mouth something, but stopped. She had reached out to touch Ron, but he walked off, angry. She had been telling Harry for the past few weeks Ron had been feeling this way, but that was only a guess. He really did feel upset about Harry being one more piece of competition that Ron had to deal with in his life. She thought about going after him, but stopped herself. Harry was the one who needed to talk to him and not her.


	3. Chapter 3

In Transfiguration class, the class received some exciting news. A Yule ball was being held during Christmas break due to the Wizarding Tournament. From that moment on, a lot of girls were giggling in the halls and passing notes to each other both of which mainly consisted of who was going with who and what they were going to wear. Ron knew a lot of girls would be asking Harry to go with them much to Ron's dismay. Ron knew there was one girl that Harry was bound to ask sooner or later and that was Cho Chang of Ravenclaw. What was so special about her anyway? She wasn't all that good of a seeker to him, but then again she was very pretty. If he went with her, he'd die inside. He didn't see what Harry saw in that girl other than being pretty and good at Quidditch. Hopefully she would get asked out by someone else before Harry got the nerve to ask her himself.

"Are you going with anyone to the Yule ball, Ron?" asked Neville as the two were playing some more wizard chest.

"No…I don't think I will. Everyone wants either one of the champions or someone better looking." Ron sighed as he thought of Harry. 

"Maybe…well they're only 4 champions so we're bound to get asked out, right?" said Neville hopefully. He was sure a lot of girls would want to go to the ball and not all of them had dates still. The chances were very high they'd get a date.

"Maybe." said Ron, but on the inside he was thinking, 'I hope not. If Harry asked me…'

"Who do you think Harry's going with? I saw a couple of 2nd and 3rd years ask him." He said as he moved one of his pieces. 

"Probably Cho Chang…he's rather…fond of her." Ron said bitterly. Neville was quick to notice his friend's tone.

"Do you like Cho too?" Neville asked. "She _is_ very pretty."

Ron did not answer his question as he turned red in the face in fury. Yes she was very pretty and he didn't need to be reminded of that. He was about to admit that he liked Harry, but luckily caught himself quickly before he could. The angry voice didn't seem to appreciate this. **_'Oh great! Now Longbottom thinks we like her!'_**

 _'Well its better than admitting we like Harry, isn't it?'_ the other voice said.

**_'Oh…I hadn't thought about that.'_ **

"Who are you asking, Neville?" said the ginger deciding to change the subject. Surely Neville had someone on his mind that he wished to go with.

"I was thinking of asking Hermione. She's always so nice to me, so I thought it would be nice if I took her to the dance." he said turning red himself.

"I'm sure she'd like that, Neville." said Ron truthfully. "After all, I'm pretty sure no one has asked her yet."

"O-okay…but truth be told, I'm a little nervous about asking her." He confessed blushing even more. Judging by how red his face was, he wondered if he had a crush on Hermione.

"If you want I could ask her myself." offered Ron. To be honest he was only doing it because he wanted to see who Harry was going with. It was killing him not knowing. Well it would anyways if it was Cho, but there was always that little hope it would be someone else.

"Would you?"

"Yeah. We are friends, aren't we?" He smiled.

"Y-yeah…" Neville felt extremely happy to know this. He didn't have many friends at Hogwarts due to his clumsy nature and shyness. It felt good that he had formed somewhat of a close friendship with Ron who was always lent him a listening ear to what he had to say and didn't outwardly show he bored him.  "Thanks Ron."

When he got around to asking, he found out that Hermione had been asked out by someone. Who that was, he didn't know. He was shocked she had been the one to be asked out and when he asked her who to which she just blushed and said it wasn't any of his business and that's he'd find out when the Yule Ball came around. Despite Hermione refusing to tell, he still couldn't help but wonder who the heck asked Hermione out of all of the pretty girls in Hogwarts. He decided he could not worry about that right now and decided to try and see who Harry was going out with if he could avoid being direct because he knew what she would say if he asked.

"Have you asked anyone yet?" asked Hermione.

"Hm? Oh no. I'm not going." he shrugged. "I don't know how to dance very well. Besides, I wouldn't be caught dead in those things mom packed me."

"Well Harry doesn't want to go either." The brunette started to say more, but stopped herself and looked at the ginger, worrying that he might say something. To her surprise, he didn't get upset about mentioning the younger male.

"Then why doesn't he just stay then?" 

' ** _Probably because he's going with that whore, Cho Chang._** ' said the angry voice. **_'It's the_ only _reason he'd go.'_**

"He's being forced to go. Apparently all of the champions are required to go." She said just as she finished another hat for the house elves. "I just hope he finds a date in time. He's having a really hard time."

"Really?" Ron said genuinely shocked. Harry Potter couldn't get a date of all people? Given how everyone makes such a huge fuss over him, getting a date where everyone could see them with him wasn't enough? That was really hard to believe. Some people would give a lot to be in that position and yet nobody acted on it. "I would have thought everyone would have wanted to go out with Mr. Famous."

"Apparently not." Ron was a bit happier after this piece of info. So he wasn't having any luck finding a date and perhaps that meant that Cho had one. Whoever Harry went with would most likely not be anyone he had to worry about. That took a load off his mind thank goodness.

* * *

 

When the date for the Yule ball finally came, Ron was itching to see who Harry was going with. All of the people in his dorm room had dates and were putting on their suits. Ron was glad he wasn't going. Everyone's suits looked much better than his old rags and he did not want to embarrass himself with the frilly thing nor his lack of dancing skills. Once everyone had gone out, only he and Neville remained inside the room.

"I'm so nervous." confessed Neville to Ron. Neville had gotten a date to the ball by asking Ron's sister to come. Ginny had eagerly agreed to come and even got her mother to buy the girl a new dress.

"How so?"

"I-I'm not a good dancer." he admitted.

"You'll be fine. Just follow Ginny's lead and you'll do better." reassured Ron, however he didn't even know if Ginny even knew how to dance herself. After adjusting the bow on Neville's suit, off the brunette went to go meet his sister. He just hopped Neville didn't break anything on either of them. 

While everyone was off, Ron took the time to reflect on everything. Tonight everyone was going out except him. As much as he didn't want to go, if Harry had asked him, he'd be the happiest guy in the word right now. 

The very next day, Neville told Ron about the Yule ball including the fact that Hermione went out with Krum, which shocked Ron. His jealous inner self (not surprisingly) was shocked too. 'VIKTOR KRUM AND HERMIONE!? HOW?! WHY!? SHE ISN'T EVEN THAT PRETTY!'

"I can see why he asked her. She looked really pretty." he said blushing. Ron was relieved when Neville got to the part about the champions and their dates. Cho had gone with Cedric and Harry had gone out with Parvati. Parvati was an okay looking girl, but Harry undoubtfully only went with her to the ball because she was one of the few girls who didn't get asked. Ron was relieved and knew he could sleep easy tonight.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, unsurprisingly, Hermione confronted him at breakfast about what he said to his sister. "You didn't have to say that to her, Ron! She's your sister for goodness sakes!"

"I don't give a crap! She wasn't concerned about me. She was concerned about Harry. Don't say it's not true. You know she likes him, so of course she would want me to be on good terms with him. If I'm not, Harry's not going to want to come over our house anymore."

"Even if that was true, you hurt her feelings!"

"I don't care! She can go fuck herself! Don't you think I'm a little hurt too?" Ron snapped.

"I don't care how you feel, Ron!" snapped the brunette. "What you did was still wrong and Ginny didn't deserve that. You can get mad and say whatever you want about Harry, but to say such things about your own sister is low."

"Fine, be on her side…write mom…I don't care! Just get out of my face!" Ron got up from the table and went to the library to hide and do his homework without being disturbed by anybody. The library was the last place anyone would suspect Ron of being since he had stopped hanging around Harry and Hermione who were now constantly in the library most likely looking up ways for Harry to compete in whatever challenge he had up ahead. Of course Viktor Krum was in there also, so studying was harder since there were girls giggling and ogling Krum who paid them no mind…plus Ron was looking at him too.

'Maybe he'll give me his autograph if I asked!' thought Ron, but dismissed it completely. He was too nervous to ask him and didn't want to embarrass himself in front of Krum or all those girls. He thought of asking Hermione, but stopped himself. She was mad at him and of course wouldn't ask. 'I can do it myself…no…I couldn't…not in front of all of them even if this is the only time I'm going to see him...okay, I'm going to make this quick!'

Before he could move even an inch, Hermione and Harry walked in, looked through some books on some shelves, and sat down at a table in front of him, not noticing Ron hiding behind a book about Astronomy that he had picked up from a shelf. Hermione was speaking to Harry.

"I can't believe Ron said that. I really don't know what's wrong with him." said Hermione. "He's not normally like this. I wonder what's wrong with him."

"His attitude is what's wrong!" said Harry frowning as he flipped through a book. "I don't know he's being such a…"

"I wish he was more open with his feelings. He's like a closed book that's glued shut. You don't want to pry it open just any kind of way. You have to be gentle…"

"Someone needs to knock some sense into him!"

"Why don't  _you_  then?" asked Hermione. "He's your best friend in the whole world and I  _ **know**_  you two tell each other things that you'd never tell me."

It was true. Harry and Ron told about all kinds of things that she was either uninterested in or disapproved of as well as some things that only two boys could discuss amongst themselves. The two could joke around and goof off together away from Hermione's nagging. He really missed doing things like that. He couldn't slack off with Neville with him worrying about what his grandmother would say and talking about certain things with Neville was awkward.

"I'm not going to because if he wants to act like he does all the time then let him go right on ahead." said Harry stubbornly. "I don't need him and if he wants to act stupid, then I don't want to ever talk to him again."

As much as Ron wanted to shout at Harry that he was glad he felt this way, he couldn't bring himself to do it and it wasn't just because of the librarian. He knew if he said it, he would not mean it, but Harry would think he did. Ron sighed behind the book, struggling between apologizing, leaving, or continuing to listen in. It wasn't until Harry asked Hermione if she had found anything to help him out with the next challenge to help him breathe underwater. Ron knew the answer to this one. It was gilly weed! He knew this because Neville had been given a book full of information about water plants and had been telling him about it while they hung out.

'I should tell Harry!' He thought and was about to when a loud voice in his head spoke up.

' _ **No! Don't! You don't owe him anything.**_ _'_

'But…'

' _ **But nothing! Didn't you just hear him? He doesn't need you.**_ ' it reminded him and Ron couldn't argue. Harry had said it from his own mouth. The ginger quickly packed up his things while hiding behind the book, quickly placed it back, and left without looking at the pair. Whether they had seen him or not, he didn't know nor did he want to know.

Just after he had put away his things and was about to head out for a walk before the challenge started, someone called his name. It was Colin, a 2nd year that had to be Harry's biggest fan ever. He probably wanted to know where Harry was.

"Harry's in the library if you're…"

"I'm not here for Harry. Professor McGonagall wants to see you and Hermione."

"Hermione's in the library." informed Ron. "I guess I can go get her on my way there."

Ron was not so eager to go get Hermione after what happened at breakfast, but knew he would have to. When he got there, Harry was far off looking through some more books and Hermione was furiously looking through one. "Hermione, McGonagall wants to see us."

"Now?" asked Hermione looking up from her book.

"Yeah, now. Colin just told me." Ron didn't wait for an answer and went on his way. Once in her office, he saw two other people: Fleur's little sister and Cho Chang. He was instructed to take a seat by a bearded man while McGonagall looking a little upset. Once Hermione had gotten in, the bearded man started talking, but Ron paid him no mind. He was too busy thinking to really listen. Did Harry really think he didn't need him around anymore? It broke his heart to think so. What if Harry found someone else to be best friends with?

'No, no…that can't happen!'

' _ **But it could…Harry can have anyone he wants**_ _.'_ a voice reminded him.  **'** _ **He really doesn't need us, now does he?**_ **'**

'But I'm his best friend…he wouldn't just drop me…would he?'

' _ **I'm pretty sure he would. After all, his**_ **is** _ **the boy who lived.**_ **'**

Suddenly a cup was held out to Ron, who took it and looked at it. What was this for? He looked over at the girls in the room who were drinking out of theirs and followed their lead. He suddenly felt sleepy and very tired. Within seconds, he was asleep.

_**When Ron opened his eyes, he was surprised when he realized that he standing in the middle of mountains of gold. He tried reaching for some, but found that it was out of his reach as he was chained to the ground. He suddenly heard something that sounded like heavy breathing and turned around. Behind him was a bright red dragon that was sleeping. Ron panicked. What was he doing here!? Was this part of a challenge? No wonder McGonagall was looking the way she was! Why didn't anyone ask for his consent!? He couldn't cry out for help, because if he did the dragon would wake up and kill him instantly. There was no way he could run and even if he could, he wouldn't be able to hide for long.** _

' _ **It might as well wake up and kill me.' thought Ron. 'What do I have to live for?'**_

_**Just then, he felt something hit him on his forehead. He looked around. Who was there? Another one hit his head from a different direction and he looked and saw Harry waving at him. He opened up his mouth to say something, but closed his mouth when Harry placed a finger up to his lip. Harry tiptoed over and whispered a spell that unlocked the chains. Ron mumbled a word of thanks and behind him the dragon made a sort of grunting noise which caused Ron to stare at it, afraid that it would wake. The raven placed a finger to his lips and gestured for Ron to follow him. The two tiptoed away from the dragon towards a large door. Suddenly the large beast woke up when Ron tripped and it glared at them. Harry pulled Ron up to his feet and the two dived behind a hill of gold just as the dragon breathed fire at them.** _

_**The ginger could feel his heart beating fast and it felt like it was going to burst out of his chest and run for it. "We're going to die!"** _

" _ **We're not going to die, Ron!" Harry said, although he was looking just as scared as he was and was doing very poor at hiding it as he tried looking brave. "I'll distract the dragon while you get to the giant door over there. Don't worry about the dragon following you outside. The door's enchanted so it can't follow."**_

" _ **But…"**_

" _ **Hurry! Go!"**_

" _ **No! I-I'm not leaving you, Harry!" Ron said angrily. "We're getting out of here together."**_

" _ **No, you need to…"**_

_**Suddenly the dragon had rounded the corner looking around for them. Ron was shaking like mad and didn't notice himself clutching Harry's shirt and pressing against him like a needy damsel in distress. As the dragon came a little closer, Harry suddenly jumped up as he pushed off Ron and ran. The dragon saw this and went after Harry. Ron was too scared to move and he was scared for his best friend.** _

' _ **I have to go help him!'**_

'He doesn't need you, remember?' _ **the voice said sighing.**_ 'He only wants people that are useful to him.'

' _ **But he's my best friend…or was…I have to!'**_

'No you don't!'

' _ **I WILL!' Ron instantly took out his wand and shouted at the large dragon.**_

'He will never love you…'

' _ **I don't care!'**_

" _ **HEY! OVER HERE!"**_

_**When he glanced back at Ron, he hit it in the eye with a random spell that was at the top of his head at the moment. The second it hit it, it roared in surprise and pain and fell down, but not before letting out a stream of blue fire. Somehow in all the chaos, Harry had gotten badly injured. The ginger saw how badly his best friend was bleeding and ran over.** _

_**His glasses were knocked off, his arm was badly burned, and he had lost a lot of blood. Ron gently picked him up and guided to a place far off from the dragon to a place where Harry could rest. Ron pressed a gentle hand on Harry's face. "Harry, wake up…please…wake up…don't be dead…please don't be…"** _

_**Suddenly he started coughing up blood and opened up his eyes. "R-ron…is that…you?"** _

" _ **Harry!" He hugged him tightly and only stopped when Harry told him that he couldn't breathe. "Oh Harry…I'm so sorry…"**_

" _ **It's…not…your…fault…Ron…"**_

" _ **No…I'm…" He started crying like a baby. "Harry…I'm so sorry…for acting like a damn fool…"**_

" _ **It's o-okay, R-ron…" here Harry let out a nasty cough. "I know you didn't mean it…I…I understand…I forgive you…"**_

" _ **Harry…no…" He sobbed and squeezed his eyes shut. Suddenly he felt something soft rub up against his lips. When he opened up his eyes, he saw Harry kissing him. He was confused beyond all belief, but did not pull away. He was going to enjoy this for as long as it lasted. After a few seconds, Harry pulled away.**_

" _ **I…I love you…Ron…" He whispered.**_

" _ **I love you too…I always have…" Ron whispered back. "That's why I-I've been acting so funny these past few days…I was jealous because all those girls were all over you and…I…I'm sorry I was such a jerk…"**_

" _ **It's okay Ron…I forgive you…I just wish you would have told me sooner." Harry smiled a little as his eyes began closing.**_

" _ **Please…don't go…" Ron held his best friend's body. "No…Harry…please…"**_

_**It was too late. Harry had died in Ron's arms, causing him to sob like a baby. "Damn it…dammit, dammit, dammit!"** _

_**He clutched Harry's body for what seemed like hours until he saw the large door opening up, revealing a bright light. Ron wiped his eyes and looked back down at Harry's cold body. He had to bring him back. He couldn't just leave his best friend there. He placed Harry's cold arm over his shoulder and dragged him towards the exit, trying not to fall. He had failed to keep him alive, but there was one thing he did do…take Harry back. As they came nearer to the door, he couldn't help but to smile. Harry had told him that he loved him and that meant the world to him.** _

Suddenly Ron woke with a start as he spat out a mouth full of water. Wait, why was he in the water? He looked and saw a large crowd peering at him and shouting while over to his right was Harry. Why were they in the lake and what was Fleur's sister doing there? Once he opened his mouth to ask, he stopped himself. That dream was a sign. He needed to talk to him and tell him right away before it was too late.

"C'mon and help me with her. I don't think she can swim very well." said Harry.

They pulled Fleur's sister through the water, back toward the bank where the judges stood watching. Ron could see Madam Pomfrey fussing over Hermione, Krum, Cedric, and Cho, all of whom were wrapped in thick blankets. Dumbledore and Ludo Bagman stood beaming at Harry and Ron from the bank as they swam nearer, but Percy, who looked very pale, came splashing out to meet them. Meanwhile Madame Maxime was trying to restrain Fleur Delacour, who was quite hysterical, fighting tooth and nail to return to the water.

"Gabrielle! Gabrielle! Is she alive? Is she 'urt?"

"She's fine!" Harry tried to tell her, but he was so exhausted he could hardly talk, let alone shout.

Dumbledore and Bagman were pulling Harry upright while Ron was helped up by Percy. Fleur had broken free of Madame Maxime and was hugging her sister. Ron looked over at Harry as he came over wrapped in a blanket too. Before anything could be said between them, Fleur had come over and kissed Harry on each cheek, much to Ron's anger and at that very moment, the ginger's jealous side sprang up again and he looked away from the half-veela who was thanking Harry for helping her sister.

'Dumbledore wouldn't have let us drown.' He wanted to shout at her, but then she came and kissed him too, much to his embarrassment.

As points were being called out, Ron was still upset over how Fleur had kissed Harry and managed to slip away without a word to anyone. No one noticed that he was gone and he doubted they would have cared if they did notice. The next day, Ron spoke to no one and hid away from Hermione and Harry, although Neville mentioned they wanted to speak to him.

"Well I don't want to speak to them." He said flatly. He avoided bringing up why he avoided Harry and Hermione, but he merely explained that he didn't want to be around them now.

"If it's still about Harry…maybe you could forgive him now?" said Neville.

"Why?"

"Because you're his special person…"

"What do you mean by that?"

"The challenge was saving someone you would miss the most, like if they died or something."

"What? You mean I'm…" He turned bright red. Harry, despite everything, still cared about him more than he let on. Ron felt as if he could kiss Neville out of pure happiness. 'He cares about me…'

' _ **No he doesn't. Don't get all worked up about it.'**_  said the loud voice in his head.

'He does…I…'

'… _ **was merely a substitute for Sirius. Harry cares a lot about him doesn't he?'**_

'Yes, but…'

' _ **He cares a lot more about him than us…someone who has known him for way longer than he did Sirius…as well as Lupin, mom, Ginny, Hermione…'**_

This thought alone made Ron more depressed than usual. "Harry doesn't give a damn about me, Neville. They probably only choice me because I hung out with him a lot…and Hermione was Krum's special person…mom probably won't let Ginny do it…and mom probably couldn't do it herself…Lupin's too busy and his godfather couldn't make it…" he said bitterly. "That's the only reason I got picked.

"Oh…" was Neville's response as he looked at his friend who looked really sad. Neville wasn't sure how to go about cheering Ron up or how to convince him that it wasn't true and that Harry did care about him.

The rest of the school term pasted by relatively fast for Ron, although he wished time would slow down for him. He was dreading the next part of the tournament that was coming all too soon. It was on a Friday and today was a Wednesday, leaving very few days before Harry had to compete and face certain doom. Ron decided that he could wait no longer than what he already had and called out to Harry before he could stop himself.

Harry didn't ignore him. Instead he stopped and waited. Once Ron had caught up, he tried saying what he wanted to say. "Uh…hey Harry. I-I wanted to talk to you…" he said nervously.

"Ron…" He seemed pleased to be speaking to Ron now.

"Look, I wanted to let you know…I…I really…" the ginger was starting to turn bright red from embarrassment and was avoiding looking Harry in the eyes. 'Come on, say it!'

Harry looked at Ron's red face and was about to say something when Ron blunted out, "Try not to die out there, okay. You know, cuz Ginny and everyone else back at home will miss you a lot…besides I really don't feel like seeing your face all over the newspaper for lifetime."

'WHAT?!' Ron cursed himself for being so dumb.

"Well hopefully that won't happen." said Harry rather coldly and walked off rather fast.

"Stupid…stupid…stupid!" he slapped himself on the forehead and wanted to try again, but Harry had walked off. 'Great now he'll never forgive me and all because I was stupid.'

Ron felt like Harry wouldn't have been in the wrong had he slapped, punched, or even spit on Ron's face. He deserved it. How could he say such things?! Ron hated himself even more now than ever. He couldn't talk to anyone about Harry or his feelings for him. They'd probably think he was weird or something. The following week at Hogmeade, Ron wondered off by himself for a little alone time. He was extremely jealous of all the couple holding hands, talking, kissing, and doing whatever couples did best. He sighed. The world just seemed against him and he wished it would all just end.

After a while of mopping around, he found himself in a bookshop. Looking around a bit, he found a journal for sale. Perhaps this was what he needed. He could write down all his thoughts and feelings down. Maybe then he could talk without making Harry upset. He bought the leathery book and decided to write in it a bit. Getting a table in Honeydukes far from anyone in the place, he sat down and scribbled down his thoughts. Looking back at it, it all looked like it was coming from a lovesick teenage girl, but Ron didn't care. With caution, no one would ever know his precious secrets.

When the day of the last challenge began, Neville had managed to pull Ron to the stands. On his way there he saw his mother would was talking to Harry. Ron clenched his fists and dragged Neville to the stands to avoid his mother, not that she would have seen him anyway with her doting on Harry all the time. Once it started, it was announced that all of the contestants would have to enter the maze for a trophy that was in the middle. Ron frowned. That meant Harry would have to go up against the many creatures in there and even against the other people in there.

"Please be safe…please be safe…" he mumbled to himself.

About an hour into the challenge, Ron was nervous. Was Harry okay? Did anything or anyone hurt him? Ron didn't know what to think until Harry emerged with a dead Cedric was when Ron panicked, as did everyone else. It turned out that Cedric had been killed when Harry and he were transported to a graveyard where Voldemort and his followers met them there. Although Ron felt bad for Cedric, he couldn't help but to secretly be thankful that it wasn't Harry. Everyone was sent home a little earlier than usual after that event. Ron knew trouble was ahead as to whether people would actually believe Harry or not. If they didn't believe him, then they were complete idiots!

On the train ride home, Ron shared a compartment with the weird girl in Ginny's year, Luna Lovegood, otherwise known as Loony. He hadn't really noticed her until she asked him if he believed what Harry and Dumbledore said. He frowned. "Oh course I do! Why would you ask that?"

"Hm…well Ginny said that you didn't believe Harry and you think he's a liar just to get attention."

"Did she?" he frowned at the mention of his sister.

She nodded. "She also mentioned that you and Harry were a bit…what's the phrase? On edge, I think? I've noticed that a little too. I've always seen you two together. There's never one without the other."

"Yeah, but that's none of her concern."

"She's your sister. Maybe she's just worried. She mentioned that she and that Granger girl was too."

"Both of them can just bite me." snapped Ron.

"No need to get nasty." said Luna calmly before disappearing back behind her magazine.

"Sorry. I guess I am a little on edge." Ron apologized. He had not meant to snap at the blonde girl. The rest of the train ride was quieter and Ron managed to get a bit of sleep in before they arrived at the station. Ginny gave him a cold stare when Mrs. Weasly gave Harry a hug. Ron frowned at the site of his mother giving her affections to Harry and walked ahead of his family. Hopefully this summer would be Harry-less…well until he came of course. However it didn't remain like that for long. He found out a few days into the summer that they were staying at Sirius Black's home for the summer.

Once there, Ron took great care to avoid the man. Truth be told, he was still scared of the man, even if he was a "good guy" now. Had Harry told him about the things Ron said or did? He was so eager to protect Harry before that Ron feared that Sirius might do something. He didn't trust the man and he feared it would be a while before he did. Sirius seemed like the type of guy that Ron would find fun to hang out with, but was too afraid to approach him. He wasn't taking any chances, so he either made himself scarce or made sure that he was too busy to talk to or be near the man. Even his family barely saw him. If he was lucky, maybe his summer would go by fast. However fate had not been too kind to him lately, so he doubted it.


	5. Chapter 5

Ron was in his bedroom pretending to read over something when he heard a knock on the door. "I'm busy!"

"Ron, open up! It's Tonks!" Ron frowned. He wasn't a huge fan of Tonks, who annoyed him to no end asking about Harry. Ron had told her that they were no longer friends, but Tonks insisted on him keeping in contact with the teen. Ron wished she would leave him alone, as well as his mother. His mother had gotten angry at her son when he told her that he wasn't friends with Harry any longer and couldn't care less about what happened to him.

"Ronald Weasly! How dare you say such a thing?!" she had said looking upset. "You know those people are after him! What if…"

"Then the world would be better off without him. Anybody who doesn't think so can go piss off!" this earned Ron a grounding for 2 weeks from his mother when she heard this.

Now he was stuck in his room, with Tonks at the door. He wondered if being bored was better than being annoyed by Tonks. Before he could make a decision, Tonks came in anyway. He was glad he wasn't naked or anything. "Thanks for knocking."

"Your mom told me that I should tell you dinner's ready…oh and Herminone's coming over in a bit." she said ignoring Ron.

Ron sighed and went down to dinner. He quickly fixed up a good bit of food before heading back up. He never ate with his family now. His father and brothers thought it was because he was too busy shoving his face in a book studying (although what he was really doing was pretending to do so half the time) while his mother thought it was to avoid her. The real reason was that he was avoiding speaking to anybody that might bring up Harry plus he was avoiding Sirius.

Sirius had not spoken a word to Ron since his arrival and he wondered why. He had no intentions of speaking to the man at all, but it was surprising that the man hadn't even looked at him even for a split second. The ginger frowned. Maybe Sirius was waiting until he was completely alone to say something. The family often went out, with his mother going shopping with his sibling with her and his father working. However Ron had a plan to avoid being around the man at all. He would stay shut up in his room "studying" and if he wanted to come out, he would use of those ear things that he found that allowed you to listen to conversations behind closed doors without anyone knowing. It had to be Fred and George's invention.

A few more weeks into the summer and there was excitement in the air. Harry had fought off a couple of dementors, trying to protect himself and his cousin Dudley. Ron couldn't believe it until he heard his mother tell him this. He tried not to look concerned, but he failed at it.

"Did they…you know…get him?" Ron asked nervously.

"No, thank goodness." His mother sighed. "Tonks, Kingsley, and Moody are off to go get him. He'll be staying in your room.

He nodded and headed to his room. Was Harry going to get expelled? He hoped not. They couldn't expel him for defending himself, could they? The ginger quickly cleaned up his room, making sure it was nice and neat for Harry. Afterwards, he and Herminone moved the extra bed into the bedroom.

"Try not to argue with him, Ron." said Herminone before she left the room. "I know you and Harry aren't the best of friends, but try to get along, okay?"

"Who said I was going to start anything?" Ron snapped, feeling bitter about what she said.

"You know you…"

"Aren't you supposed to be doing something?" Ron interrupted Ginny who was passing by the room.

"Yes, but I'll give my opinion if I want." Ginny glared at him. "Harry's been though a lot and he doesn't you to be in his face or arguing with him."

"If you think I am, he can sleep in your room then. Oh yeah that's right. Assholes like you can't be trusted!"

"And you are a piece of shit!"

"Stop fighting you two." Hermione got in between the two siblings. "Neither of you mean that."

"Hmph." Ginny crossed her arms.

"Not likely." answered Ron. "Look I really don't intend to waste all my time talking with  _him_ …I'm too busy doing my own thing."

"Yeah right." she rolled her eyes and left out of the room.

Ron rolled his eyes too and hoped back into bed after getting out his journal that was inside of a book. Hermione sighed and left out of the room. Ron opened the book and began scribbling in his disguised journal.

**11:45 am**

_Harry is coming over pretty soon. Ginny and Hermione had just left out of the room and before they left, they told me not to say anything to cause any conflict with him. I really don't want to, but I **might**  seeing as he's staying with me. I  **really**  want to patch things up with him, but I can't really after what I've said and done. I bet he probably won't even attempt to speak to me even though we're sharing a room together._

_I feel really bad for him. He got ambushed by a couple of Dementors while with his cousin. Having no choice, he of course used magic and saved them. However he's being sent to court for it and might even be expelled. They can't expel him! Harry was only defending himself! It's bad enough people are stupidly split between believing Harry and Dumbledore or denying the truth. The only reason he's staying here is because we're to look after Harry until his trial and/or until school starts._

_I hope our relationship improves over this summer. Will he even speak to me? I doubt it unless he has to. I'm even pretty sure that Ginny will try and flirt with him and try to date him. Well anyway, he'll be here in a few hours. I've got time to waste thinking of what to say and do._

There wasn't anything else more to write, so Ron put away his journal. Now what? He hadn't been out of his room in a while, so he decided to just explore the house a bit. The Black house was very nice, although it was mainly that way after cleaning up the place since it had been abandoned because all of the family either died or were locked up (aka Sirius). The house elf Kreacher didn't feel the need to clean up much since his masters had died and especially since Sirius became his master.

Ron poked around in the kitchen and made a sandwich. He suddenly found a note from his mother.

_I'm gone shopping with Hermione, Ginny, Fred, and George. Your father is at work. If you need anything, Sirius is here and the other members of the Order will pop in every now and then. Try not to get into any trouble._

_~Mom_

Ron inwardly groaned. Damn, so he was stuck with him for as long as his parents were gone. After eating, he was about to clean up when Kreacher came in, looked at Ron with those big beady eyes, and hissed at him. The red head was creeped out and a little scared. "Uh, can I help you?"

"Sneaky red head…who are you?" Kreacher creeped closer. "Kreacher has never seen you before."

"What?" He snatched back his hand as Kreacher tried to grab his hand. "You've seen me before, creep."

Kreacher scowled a little. "You steal?"

"No!" Ron started cleaning up, trying to ignore the house elf. Kreacher however just stood there, muttering about Ron's family being in the house, how Sirius was staying here, and if anything else in the house was being either tainted or stolen.

"…and idiot child doesn't know how to clean plate properly. Kreacher is happy Mistress isn't here to see how her perfect house is being tainted by blood traitor and mudblood scum…"

"I thought I told you not to say anything like that anymore!" Sirius snapped at the house elf, startling both Ron and the elf.

Kreacher hissed at Black. "Mistress's oldest child is a disgrace!"

"You're a disgrace to my eyes, now beat it! Go clean up somewhere or something." Sirius crossed his arms. He didn't seem to like the elf much either. Then again, who did? Kreacher glared at the man once more, bowed, and crept off. Sirius sighed. "Sorry about that Ron. He didn't cause you any trouble, did he?"

"Not really." Ron admitted quietly. "He was just complaining."

"As usual…he's only mad that I'm nothing like my death eater brother or whatever it is that mother wanted me to be." Sirius scoffed. "You know, I haven't seen you much during the summer. You aren't afraid of me, are you?"

"What? No way…at least anymore." said Ron half truthfully. Now that he was talking with him, he wasn't  _too_  scary.

"That's good. I'm not a bad guy."

"I know." said Ron.

"So…are you enjoying your summer so far?"

"Not really. It's really boring around here." he then quickly added, "No offense!"

"None taken. It  _is_  pretty boring around here." he sighed. "There's nothing to do around here and barely anyone to talk to. Every now and then one of the Order members will come from time to time, but I can't go outside or even help the Order much. Life as a fugitive is pretty crappy."

"At least you get to hear what's going on. We're not allowed to hear anything." said Ron.

"I guess so, but still…It doesn't really do me any good. I guess it's better to know than to never know." He sighed and then he smiled a bit. "Harry tells me you're pretty good at wizard chest. Do you think you might want to play?"

'He's talked to Sirius about me. I hope it wasn't mostly negative.'

"Sure." Ron couldn't see any harm in it. They played and Sirius talked about the old days of when he and his friends attended Hogwarts. Ron found his interesting and kind of wished he would have lived back then. He felt like he would have enjoyed hanging with them.

"I remember all those pranks we used to pull on Snape back in the day. I could tell you the look on his face was just priceless most of the time!" he chuckled.

"You really disliked him, didn't you?" said Ron

"Yeah and I still kind of do. I don't know why he's in the Order or why he comes here. He's always rubbing the fact that I can't leave in my face." he scowled. "I'd like to punch him."

"I would too sometimes." he admitted. "He's horrible. I wish I didn't have to take Potions. He's nasty to any house but his own. He's especially nasty to Harry."

"Of course he is. He's taking out his hate on James on Harry. Pathetic fool…" Sirius tapped his chin. "Hey Ron, I've got an idea."

Ron noticed the mischievous twinkle in his eyes and got excited. "What?"

"Everyone's away, right?" The red head nodded, instantly liking where this was going. "How about we leave and have a little fun? We'll only be gone for a few minutes. If anybody notices we aren't in our rooms and asks where we were, we were in the attic the whole time."

"Sure, but only for a few minutes." Ron really didn't want his mother on him if he was caught. He would be on lockdown until next summer.

"Aren't then!" Sirius transformed into a black dog and off the two went.

Sirius seemed to love being outside and free. They jogged over to the nearest park where Sirius had a bit of fun. He stole a hot dog a vender was fixing up, played a bit of catch with Ron (why Sirius would want this, Ron didn't know), and knocked over a few trashcans for the fun of it. It amused Ron to see Sirius acting like a dog and he seemed to be enjoying it too. Afterwards Ron and Sirius flew on a couple of borrowed broomsticks around town before Ron realized how long they had been out. He figured they had been out far too long and convinced Sirius it was time to head back.

"Well that was fun." said Sirius placing back the brooms and locking the door. "Too bad it had to end."

"Yeah. I wish we could go out more." admitted Ron.

"So do I…maybe we can. I might have to borrow you from Harry from now on." joked Sirius. Ron was about to say something when the downstairs door could be heard opening. "Sounds like we got back just in time. We should do this again…if you're up to it."

"Sure I am." said Ron smiling a little. "Just let me know when."

* * *

_6:45_

_Harry's here now and he's hasn't spoken to me but once. It was only to know which bed was his. I pointed and went back to thinking about what Sirius and I should do next. Yes, Sirius Black and I actually went outside. He's not allowed to, but since he's an animagus, he transformed into a dog and went outside for a bit of fun. I hope we hang out again soon. He isn't as scary now as he used to be. Maybe because he looks a bit more handsome (probably due to access to a bathroom and a good trim all around) than since we met. He's cuter than Harry. I can't believe I wrote that._

_I kind of wish Harry would talk to me, but he hasn't attempted or cared to from my prospective. I kind of miss hearing him say my name and feel his fingers even slightly brush against me. It's pathetic, but it's true. I still love him, but I can't show him. I don't know how. I doubt Hermione would be of much help in a situation like now. I can only hope I'll be able to or at least fall out of love with him. Either one will work and ease my heartache somehow._

 


End file.
